Tuesday 19 July 2016

I've Moved!


I've moved all my posts over to my new site on WordPress and I'll be posting all future blogs there.


I do hope you keep reading!

Friday 24 June 2016

The EU Debate

After last night's votes and today's results, there has been a lot of chatter on social media about the referendum. I'm now sitting in a cafe and I can hear people all around talking about it. Some sound truly despondent. Some are laughing like it's any other day. As a country we were truly divided and we still are.

Personally, I didn't know what to think in the lead up to the vote. I don't pretend to know much about politics and I tend to stay out of it most of the time. But I knew this time my vote was important and that if I didn't put a cross in one of those boxes I would come to regret it.

I voted in. I believe that if you don't fully understand what this kind of change could bring, then why vote for it? I voted in because I knew that if we stayed those of us who didn't understand would have more time to learn and then there would probably be another vote in a few years. I also voted in because I believed it was the right thing to do.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions. The people who voted out had their reasons to do so, as a lot of people had their reasons to remain in. Now that the result has come through, I am left wondering what the impacts of this change may be.

A large number of the remain votes came from the younger generation. The people aged between 18-24 knew what they wanted for their futures. Figures I've seen have averaged around 75%. However, they have been left with a future they may not want. It will be the youth who will have to deal with consequences of this. And the even younger, the 16-18 year olds, who just watched it happen without being allowed a say at all. There's something inherently wrong with that.

I've just graduated from a university that houses so many international students. I know that a lot of the income to the university comes from international studiers coming here to learn, to experience and to contribute. Now I'm concerned what will happen to them. When students want to study abroard, whether that means them coming to us or us going to them, how easy will that be?

As a young person, I can't help but worry about the effects it will have on myself and my children. With the possibility of trade change will that affect houses, jobs, education? We've already dropped in economic power just from this morning's results. And how will our laws change? When the Lib Dem's left parliment, we realised the effects they had halting some of the suggestions that were being put forward. Will it be the same for this? I don't claim to know but they are thoughts that have run through my head.

European countries lit up their countries with our flag last night in a bid to convince us to stay. They may have done this for selfish reasons but it showed unity. Which we have dismissed. I will always believe in unity in numbers and we have voted for solidarity. I don't know what this could mean for us in the future. I just hope they will still stand by our side should we ever get into trouble.

We are not a perfect country. We are a country in need of help, reported on almost daily in the paper. And now we have further divided ourselves within our own borders. With all the terrible things going on in the world right now, I think we should be taking down barriers, not putting more up.

Everyone has their right to have their say. I'm not saying the people who voted out are wrong because that would be bigoted of me and I'm not that kind of person. I'm just using my right to express my own opinions and thoughts on the matter.

And who knows, we may be better off having voted out. Our country may progress even further now we are not constricted within the ruling of a union. Maybe we will become stronger economically, progress further than we ever thought.

Regardless of what the outcome was, we all knew that only time would tell on the results.

I promise my post next week - or maybe later this week - will be much less drab and much cheerier!

Wednesday 15 June 2016

Finishing University and What Comes Next

It has been almost an entire year since I last posted a blog here. A lot longer than I am proud of. But now that university has finished and I have no deadlines around every corner, I've decided I'm going to start posting here again. I'm aiming for a post a week, optimistically, so we'll see how that goes.

Since the last three years of my life have been dedicated to my degree, I feel my first post should be about that such thing.

University takes up a lot of time. Even though it's only three days a week, it embroils itself into every aspect of your life. Your closest allies become those in your course, your computer becomes filled with mountains of documents for each module. Even when you go out you're wondering how you can incorperate the experience into an assignment. Well, I was anyway, but I have always been known to be a bit OTT when it comes to work.


I have adored my degree. It's been my home. Not only has it given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people who will be friends for life, but it has helped me to advance my writing skills exponentially. I experienced and adored modules I would have never seen myself taking. I can now call myself a screenwriter, a novelist and a journalist. University has taught me a lot about my own determination, resiliance and talents.

Now the big question is 'what comes next?'. When my lectures finished April and my deadlines came and went in April, I was thrilled to have some time where I could sit down, in my PJs, and watch iZombie back to back without feeling guilty. Or pick up a book and read without feeling the need to somehow fit it into one of my assignments. However, that freedom-feeling passed quite quickly. The nothingness soon reminded me that I would not be going back to university in September. So the job-hunt began.

Over my time at university I have tried hard to amount up experience that would help me to achieve a job at the end of my degree. I used my spare time to not have to worry at the end about what I would with no employment positions under my belt. However, it doesn't appeared to have helped as much as I had hoped. I failed to remember that everyone in England was finishing their degree at the exact same time as me, with thousands of people finishing the same course and wanting the same job. So every application I have been sending out has been returned to me with an upsetting decline.

Leaving university is difficult and I don't want anyone to have any preconceptions that it's any different. It's a race to find a job before your flat contract ends. It's a panic at what you're possibly going to do with your life now. But it's not all terrifying. I have some great contacts who want to help me find a job and are doing everything they can to help. I have some incredible family and friends who keep a smile on my face and constantly remind me that something will come along. And I have First Class Honours degree that I can be proud of, knowing I put everything I had into it and it paid off. There are so many opportunities out there and it only takes one person, one job posting, to spot you in the crowd.

What comes next is difficult to define but I know it will be as exciting as what has come before. I look forward to the next challenge, the new friends I will make and the hurdles of adult life I am about to face. Plus I have a wedding to plan and what came be more exciting than that?

Until next time readers...

Tuesday 30 June 2015

EDS Type 3: Living and Learning

I wrote this post for my universities blog a little while ago to raise awareness for Don't-Dis-My-Ability. I wanted to repost it as I am always looking to raise awareness about this relatively unknown and unresearched condition, so here goes:
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I’m a second year Creative Writing student and I also work part time for Wimbledon BookFest and Standen Literary Agency. Though being able to work and write is great, there’s a lot I can’t do. I don’t go out often, I sometimes miss my lectures and I don’t get involved in a lot of campus events. But because my illness is invisible and because I ‘don’t look sick’, I’m judged and misunderstood a lot of the time by people.


I’ve been suffering from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Type 3 – also know as Joint Hypermobility – since my second year of A Level study. Hypermobility is a connective tissue disorder that comes from having too much collagen in your muscles and organs so they overstretch, lack stability and cause multiple issues in a person’s body. Because of this I also suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, reoccurring migraines and slight IBS. I therefore don’t really know what it’s like to not wake up exhausted and in pain.

People think that being hypermobile is about being double jointed. A lot of dancers and gymnastics are hypermobile, which is easily recognised in the way they manipulate their bodies. I, however, managed to permanently damage my upper back, shoulders, ribs and spine just by studying for my exams.
EDS is highly misdiagnosed by doctors. They’re not very well versed in the condition and commonly pass the problems off as a regular bad back or poor posture because patients can touch their toes or twist their torsos. I want to change this. I want to help educate people on the severity of invisible illnesses.This form of EDS may not literally affect people’s life expectancy, unlike EDS Type 1, but it does sometimes made it unbearable to live.

My condition has worsened since I was 17.  My rotator cuffs in my shoulders and the muscles in my neck have been so permanently damaged that I lose feeling in my hands and arms regularly. My ribs move to places they aren’t supposed – to the point of dislocation – and lead to severe heart attack type chest pain. The pain that I suffer from in my back and spine can only be dulled by Diazepam, which is a sedative. My illness is incurable and later in life it can lead to daily dislocations, wheelchair use and replacement surgery.

Everyday of my life is planned, starting from the moment I wake up. Christine Miserandino invented “The Spoon Theory” when talking about chronic illness; for example a sick person has a handful of spoons and you only have so many for that day and every single action takes away a spoon from you. Carrying a bag, shaving my legs, straightening my hair, sitting at a desk – each of these can take spoons away so that I can’t make dinner that day or stay up and write an essay or go and see my friends for drinks. It makes me scared to do a lot of things; I have planned things and bailed at the last minute because I’m afraid that I’ll be in so much pain and no one will understand or I won’t be able to function for the next week because my brain will be too fogged or I’ll have used all my ‘spoons’ and therefore won’t be good company for others. It does make it difficult to get out of bed some days.

But I don’t let my illness run my life entirely. I’ve moved away from home and came to London to study Creative Writing. I moved in with my boyfriend of almost three years now. I’ve almost been picked up by a Literary Agent twice for my own writing. Though a fulltime job may be too much for me right now, I plan to become a writer, agent or publisher in spite of it.  At 21 I still rely on the people around me to hold me up – sometimes literally – but I will have children and I will live with my condition.

I want to show others that a chronic condition doesn’t have to ruin you, just like my mum showed me after she was diagnosed with an incurable kidney disease a few years ago. She is the bravest, most wonderful person I know and I want to inspire my children like she has inspired me.

I'm lucky to have found a good physiotherapist up here in London, but not everybody has that luxery - I know I didn't for the first few years of my illness. A lot of people suffer in silence or are misunderstood for years in a many chronic, invisible illnesses. There's little research surrounding EDS and a lot of confusion. After reading this mammoth post, just reposting on your Facebook wall on any social media site can help more people than you'd know.  

Remember: don’t-dis-my-ability or anyone elses. No one is normal but some people are a little more unique than they look on the outside.

Another Year, Another Post

It's been a while since I wrote a post, but another year has passed and I feel that some reflection is needed.

I finished my second year of university! Having thought not so long ago that I wasn't even going to bother to come and then getting chronically ill, I am surprised and proud to say I have passed yet another year with a First. It's not been easy - tackling assignments and staff alongside being ill a lot of the time, but I'm proud of myself, the work I've achieved and the wonderful and supportive friends I've made.

The things I've learnt here about writing has just grown over the two years. I can see the refinement that has developed in my work and as a stubborn 19 year old who thought there wasn't that much that I could be taught, I have been proven well and truly wrong. 

This year I've had a lot of ups and downs with my health. Finally being recognised as having an incapaciating illness by student finance and recieving equipment and support has been incredible. To at last have my condition recognised, understood and respected is a massive step away from being told by doctors that I'm overreacting and overexaggerating.
The downside is the effects. I still struggle to go out a lot, to do things with friends, to do things I want to and have the normal life of a 21 year old. EDS III is a full on condition that affects more than just my muscles and joints. Although my illness has lead to me being left out of events, to lots of tears and to reevaluating some parts of my life, I really have learnt who my real family are. My parents, who have been unwavering in their support and understanding alongside my siblings and my incredible boyfriend, and my real friends, who I know will love me no matter what happens. I feel like that's one of the most important things I've learnt this year.

Despite my health one thing I've never done is give up on my passions. This month I finished my latest novel which has now been printed for editing before I send it off to agents to try and get it published. Even though I've been told countless times by my physiotherapist that I shouldn't be sitting at a desk for long periods and that Creative Writing is not exactly a great career path for someone with my condition, I have persevered despite it and I'm proud of myself for that.
I've also embarked on two new jobs; working at the Wimbledon BookFest and at the Standen Literary Agency/Three Hares Publishing. Both of these have been hugely educational, allowing me to witness young writers coming to life - both adults and children alike - and have given me the opportunity to see the other side of the coin, opening up my career prospects greatly.

Year Two has been something to remember - from discussing the horrors of the Fifty Shades writing in my Fiction class to dislocating my rib.

But I know that my Third Year can only bring great and stressful with some amazing people. Bring it on.

Wednesday 7 May 2014

Crossing Off Year One

It's now the beginning of May and I have officially handed in all of my assignments and finished my first year of university.

It's gone incredibly quick. It barely feels like anytime has passed since I moved into my halls room and unpacked all my stuff, unable to fathom where exactly I was going to put it all.

I came to university because I had to. I intended to go straight into a job and work myself up in the industry. However, what I discovered was that to get into publishing, you had to have a degree just to start at the bottom. So here is where I've ended up. And, honestly, I'm so glad I did.

I've learnt so much about writing and though I've been doing it since I was ten, I've realised there's so much more too it. Learning about the small details of writing that I rarely think about when I'm penning a novel has led my writing to improve incredibly. Being aware of the most obvious and simple things is sometimes all it takes.
And I've learnt to love so many new avenues of writing. Journalism was never something I was interested in pursuing but a module this semester has led me to respect and experiment with the art and I've learnt that I'm not as bad at that style of writing as I thought I would be.

I chose London as my city to study in because of its connections. Look up most publishers and literary agents and you will find their offices in and around central London. It's also a wonderful city to experience and discover and when I could no longer stand sitting in my halls room, it was a wonderful place to escape to.

In April I was offered a two week placement at Random House publicity and I adored being able to experience a publishing house. To work in a place I plan to apply for when I leave university was incredible and I advice anyone who has a passion for books or writing to go and give it a chance. It doesn't cost anything but two weeks of your time and you'll quickly learn whether you want to leave after a day or curl up beneath a pile of books and work there forever.
My placement helped me to remember what I was here for. To get into publishing you need at least three work experience's on your CV and I wanted to start early, but I had gotten wrapped up in deadlines, tutorials and writing like everyone else wanted me too. Random House showed me what I was stressing about would come to mean something in the end.


Now, let's talk about my flatmates. Moving into halls I was worried. I was older, having taken a gap year, and I didn't drink. I assumed that the 18 year old's I was sharing with would instantly hate me. However what I came to discover was an incredible set of friends. For the last year I haven't stopped laughing. I've met some amazing people and learnt so much about different cultures and backgrounds and even though its been hard sometimes, I will never regret the experience.
Some of the people I've shared a flat with for the last year will be my friends for life. I know a lot of people say that about friends they made whilst in education, but I genuinely feel like we've grown so close that I will always want them over for tea and a gossip. I love them and they're like sisters to me now, and you don't just forget your siblings. No matter how much you want to kill them sometimes.

My first year has been eventful. It's been a lot of up's and down's with people and places but I've come through it the other side. I couldn't have done any of it without the Other Half's support and as we come up to celebrating our two year anniversary, I know that I couldn't be happier.

So, let me just say - Bring It On Year Two.


Thursday 10 April 2014

Into the Heart of Publishing I Went

Everyone has this fantastical idea of what publishing is. 
A busy office with piles of paper everywhere. A buzzing atmosphere where it's books books books. 
The truth is it's not like that at all.

I started off my publicity work experience at the Penguin Random House group trying to work out the travel system of London.
As most of the people who read this blog know, I am the least coordinated or travel conscious person around, so tube systems and train times are not my forte.

However, going to work every morning, rushing for the tube and getting annoyed with the slow walkers and the barging businessmen made me feel like a true Londoner.

When you walk into the Random House offices you are met by very fun red swivel chairs and a receptionist who is never off the phone. That's where the glamour ends, I'm afraid.

The offices themselves look like any other offices; desk, chair, computer, paperwork. Apart from the shelves and stacks of books that rest against every wall and get in everyone's way.

When I thought of publishing I thought of author events and meetings about books and being the first person to see the next big book cover. However what I failed to remember was that I was in fact there for only a two week work experience placement and therefore unimportant.

But don't fear, I have not turned my back on publishing. In fact, I loved almost every minute of being the publicity assistants lackey. I got to make Showcards that would be put up in bookshops across the country and Press Releases that would be sent to every big newspaper and magazine around.

Everyday I listened to the assistants and the publicists on the phone to travel companies, booking Eurostars and hotels and talking to authors about the gritty details of their books so they could organise appropriate interviews.

And it just gave me the motivation to want to be that person. The one calling the author or going on business trips and book tours with them, or being the author themselves, being asked the in-depth details about my book. It ignited the passion and motivation within me to jump up the gear, to do something I really want.

By the end of the placement I realised that publicity was maybe not my avenue. I want to be connected with the author and the book so much that I feel like its my child as well as theirs. That's why I've made the decision to try and pursue a career in editorial, and in particular children's.

But I would not have given up that experience for the world. Those two weeks were more important than I can express. It will help me get a job in the future, it has motivated me to do better, and it has taught me invaluable information. I recommend that anyone interested in the industry should apply.

Not to mention all the free books I got given at the end of it.

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